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Saturday, June 28, 2008

Your offseason predictions

1) The New York Islanders will sign Sean Avery to a 30 year deal worth 120 million.  "I wanted to make sure Sean was an Islander for life...literally," said GM Garth Snow.  Avery is supposed to take over as GM when he retires.

2) The Toronto Maple Leafs will sign Ryan Malone to a 5 year, 25 million dollar deal with a full NMC.  "Since Jason Blake did not work out, we decided to roll the dice on another overpaid, one year wonder winger," said GM Fletcher.  In 2 season, the Maple Leafs threatened to blow up Malone's house if he did not waive his NMC.

3) The New York Rangers will overpay for a sexy free agent.  The Rangers will sign Mats Sundin to a 1 year, 10,000,000 deal.  "Atleast he isn't going to Montreal," says GM Glen Sather.

4) The Montreal Canadiens will, in response to losing out on both Marian Hossa and Mats Sundin, sign Andrew Raycroft to a 7 year, 49 million dollar deal.  "Atleast we got some REAL talent from Toronto.  I mean, Sundin sucked anyways and we all know Tanguay will score 55 goals, and Razor and Price will be a top combo in the league.  Like Osgood and Hasek," said a Habs fan poster on HFBoards.

5) The Edmonton Oilers will try to sign every UFA and RFA in the league, fail to do so, and then Kevin Lowe will be named one of the best GM's in the league.  "Pronger for nothing, Pitkanen traded for and then away, Ryan Smyth over a few bucks, hell he sucked" Lowe said as him team also loses the lottery for the 1st overall pick.

6) Brian Burke will trade his entire team to make room for Niedermayer and Selanne.  



Anonymous bennyjo30 said...

L O L.

10:44 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

terrible post matt.. raycroft to the habs? give me a break. Sundin to the Rangers? what are you on crack?

11:36 PM  
Blogger Jefe77 said...

I think he was being sarcastic. I hope he was being sarcastic....

2:42 AM  
Anonymous bergie37 said...

i'm sure he was being sarcastic...haha anonymous...anyway what about throwing mike green an offer sheet...heard on TFP hes seeking around 3.5-4 million a much rather see him in a b's jersey than brian campbell

8:45 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Wideman gets 3.5 mil in arbitration. Bruins decline. Wideman signs with another team and justifies ruling. By the way, Boyers scores 50 goals.

B's make a splash in FA by missing out on both Campbell and Hossa so they overpay for Satan (5 yrs 25 mil) and R. Blake (2 yrs 15 mil).

Murray is also not dumped but in fact extended for another 2 yrs. Matt's head explodes. Future blogging becomes rather difficult.

10:37 AM  
Blogger Matt said...

Okay if you did not get the

12:18 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Matt...just a fyi that the 2nd "anonymous" post was not done by the 1st one (if that makes sense). It was done by me and I got your original sarcasm, which was funny. Mine was meant to be the same.

By the way, on a scale of 1 to 10, how bummed are you going to be if the B's don't sign Hossa? He's been "your" guy (and most of ours) all year and if Chia doesn't come through, that's going to take some time to get over huh?

Wow. Two more days. It's like x-mas. No Hossa = lump of coal :P

2:41 PM  
Blogger Matt said...

I'd be a 7. Because he would have to deal out contracts in order to get Hossa, but I feel Hossa is the perfect guy with the Savard and Chara connection

6:24 PM  

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